Monday 4 December 2006

for a moment of peace

I laughed again yesterday. After six months I laughed again. And this time it came from the heart. I felt like myself again after ages. I felt good about myself. I saw a fairy dancing. She perched herself on my nose and sneezed. Some of the sparkle from her sprinkled all over me, and my world looked a brighter place.
I giggled like a stupid girl yesterday. I asked stupid questions. I got stupid answers. I believed them. I kissed the air and hoped the breeze carried it to him.
Few moments of happiness. Of life. I felt like living again. I felt alive. I felt reunited with my soul. I felt at peace with myself. Few moments of bliss.
I longed for a moment with him. Yesterday. I longed to touch him, to see him. I longed for him. Yesterday.
Today I shed a tear for him. In his absence. My heart longs for him. My soul is waiting for him.

I saw a fairy die today. All the sparkle disappeared.
Hope died. My dreams died with it. I lost my faith. Promises were broken. My heart broke with it.
I stepped out of myself and looked at me. I saw a young girl sitting in the corner of the room, holding her knees to her chest, shaking, trembling, crying. And it came from the heart. I saw her broken.
I saw her soul. It was empty. I felt her pain. It was unbearable. She had been betrayed. Her faith had been broken.
Her eyes, her heart, her body her soul were all weeping. He had told her to trust him, she had. He had promised her that he would come back for her, come back to her, that he would take her with him. He had said that things would be different this time. She had believed him. She had trusted him. She had waited for him. She had loved him. He did not come. He did not return for her. He did not come back to her. He left her waiting forever.

I closed my eyes.
I longed for a moment of peace.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

FIND that moment of peace. I love you sweetie, as do so many others. Those who keep you waiting are losing what they could have had for themselves. Don't wait. No more.

sozzled n pickled tis the soul said...

well i think i m on my way...dnt plan to take ne u-turns this time around!!!

Loony Libberswick of Llapland said...

hey, i read this before :)
Keep the faith babe.Muah.